How not to be jealous

Jealousy, it, like a poisoned poison, gradually, but, alas, irreversibly destroys any relationship. Jealousy is a painful feeling caused by the fear of the loss of a significant person, the unwillingness to share him with anyone and nothing. This feeling takes its roots in distant childhood, when we zealously related to the attention of our parents, when we longed to be the center of their world. But childhood passed, and a sense of jealousy does not leave us, the objects of jealousy have simply changed. Jealousy does not bring anything positive into our lives, so let's figure out how to stop tormenting ourselves and our partner.

Jealousy. And what to do with her

To begin with, I would like to say that jealousy is a feeling of extremes. People whose childhood passed without proper attention from parents, and people around whom they went on tiptoe or were too demanding, thereby violating the boundaries of personal space throughout childhood. Due to the fact that this feeling stretches from a deep childhood, then work on yourself needs to begin quite thorough.

1. And the first step on the path of work on oneself is to increase your own self -esteem. Self -confidence allows you to doubt your virtues and be sure that surrounded by your second half, you have no equal. Of course, you should not be arrogant and put on a crown, arrogance has never been valued.
2. Do not forget that a man loves his eyes. Be sure to take care of yourself. Even the most intelligent and quick -witted, but in a torn dressing gown or shapeless clothes and in curlers there is no way to keep a man near him. He must get aesthetic pleasure looking at you.
3. Separated his interests. Joint trips to the cinema, tennis, fishing trip will allow you to find new points of contact. And you will not harass yourself with questions where and with whom he is now.

How not to be jealous: what is jealousy

Having earned yourself with bouts of jealousy, you should seriously think about whether there are significant arguments. To do this, you need to turn on the mind and weigh everything well.

Reasonable jealousy

If there is a reason, then even the most calm and balanced person will begin to be jealous. Any woman will begin to be jealous if:

1. Her second half is actively flirting with her friends.
2. Under various pretexts, somewhere lingers until late, or even does not come to sleep home at all.
3. She is not interested in sexual.
4. He tries to go to another room to talk on the phone.
5. It provides ambiguous attention to other women.

But even with significant reasons, you should not fall to the tantrum, men cannot stand them. Do not harass yourself or your partner, it's better to sit down and discuss everything calmly. So you will maintain your dignity and make it clear to your soulmate that its actions are not correct towards you.

Unreasonable jealousy

If reasonable jealousy has reasons that can be discussed at a round table, then unreasonable jealousy, like poison, destroys the jealous from the inside. It is characteristic of people with low self -esteem and large baggage of complexes, such people, as a rule, are driven by fear of loss. Such a feeling must be eradicated in itself first of all, since such behavior can bring your partner to the pen, it can start changing so that it is not so insulting or it can escape. It may still be not in vain that a person attracts into his life exactly what he thinks the most. Think about it.

How not to be jealous: what to do if you are jealous

First, it is necessary to realize that you are both adults and consciously decided to be together. Why complicate relationships with suspicions and interrogations. Each of you has the right to personal space, you should not control every step of a partner. Otherwise, the partner may not withstand such control and simply escape.

1. Do not ask about the past. What was not to be changed, so rejoice at today and the fact that you are together.
2. Do not exhaust yourself with the monitoring of a partner, do not read his emails and SMS on the phone.
3. Admit to your partner that some of his actions force you to be jealous, it is worth discussing.

How not to be jealous of the past

We are all people and everyone has their own lives, do not forget about it. Therefore, when two adults decide to jointly build relationships, do not panic and begin to be jealous of the past. At a minimum, it has already passed, at a maximum - it cannot be returned. What do you want to know about the past life of your partner, and in what quantities is only you to decide. Someone prefers to find out everything to the smallest details, and someone adheres to the principle of "you know less-you sleep stronger." And those and others are right in their own way. The appearance of anyone from a past life should not inspire wild horror in you, he is with you, which means that you are much more interesting for him. But if he shows an unhealthy interest in the life of this person, and began to recall it often enough (how she prepared, or the places where and how they rested), there is a reason to think. Perhaps their relationship was not terminated on his initiative, and he has not yet been ill.

How not to be jealous: why do men are jealous

Yes, jealousy is also characterized by men, it is due to a passionate desire to possess their partner from and to. Manifestations of male jealousy are much more serious and more dangerous. Statistics claim that about 20%of crimes are on the basis of jealousy. It is almost impossible to live with a pathological jealous, these are scandals about frank outfits, bright makeup, delay after work, communicating with anyone except him, and in some cases can reach the assault. In order to protect yourself from such surprises, you should stop looking at a partner through pink glasses with the thought that "if he is jealous, then he loves."

1. Self -doubt. Young people with low self-esteem are very afraid that their lover will find someone better, higher, stronger, etc. This fear corrodes them from the inside and makes them look for more and more evidence of your infidelity.
2. Family Patriarchate. As soon as a man begins to unanimously make all decisions in a relationship, he assigns his woman as property, completely forgetting about her right to freedom. In this case, any attempt by a woman to make independent decisions or actions will be regarded as a provocation. What will immediately lead to an attack of jealousy.
3. Addictions to intoxicating substances. Everything is known that alcohol and narcotic drugs greatly distort the perception of reality, but few people thought that they also arise a sense of fear within a person in their own inferiority. Therefore, people with addictions are very vulnerable and perhaps even more than others are jealous of their women. They are afraid that they will leave them, leave alone. The manifestation of jealousy in such people is often accompanied by assault.
4. Fear to see in the mirror. There are repeatedly cases when a man begins to be jealous because he himself feels a desire to change his partner. Then he begins to transfer his own desires to her and look for at least the slightest confirmation in her behavior. But there are times when a man has his own conscience is not clean. And knowing about his own betrayal, he really does not want to realize that he can also deceive him. In this case, men begin to jealously control every step of their beloved, up to monitoring the mobile phone and reading electronic correspondence.

Psychologist's advice on how not to be jealous

1. Believe in yourself and your charming. Do not focus on their shortcomings, believe me, everyone has them, it is better to devote more time to their advantages. Your ability to attract people to yourself and their desire to stay as long as possible in your society, first of all, depends on the sincerity of your love for yourself and confidence in your own attractiveness.
2. Say yourself from fantasies about the betrayal of your second half. Do not exhaust yourself with pictures that your partner enjoys in someone's embrace.
3. Follow your appearance. A woman who really loves herself will not allow herself to put on leaky slippers.
4. Start your professional self -realization. Financial independence significantly increases self -confidence and reduces the fear of being left without support.

How jealous men and women are jealous. Video