How to avoid conflicts

Our whole life, like a canvas, is woven from relationships with other people. In the fact of birth, we fall into the huge world of people and from the first days of life we \u200b\u200blearn to find a common language with others. The experiences and emotions caused by certain events often contribute to a distorted perception of reality. These distortions are the causes of misunderstanding between people, and as a result, the causes of conflicts. Therefore, in order to make your life more calmly and harmonious, you need to properly figure out what a conflict is and how to avoid it. Perhaps you will not become the most non -conflict person on the planet, but, in any case, you will know for sure what to do in a particular situation.

What is a conflict

From many definitions, we can conclude that the conflict is a contradiction of the two or more parties, which was uttered aloud. The conflict does not arise from scratch, but is built from successive stages, namely:

• the first is a discrepancy in opinions on one or another reason,
• the second is a direct statement of his disagreement with the opposite opinion,
• the third is a direct confrontation, an open struggle.

On the one hand, the conflict is an undesirable situation that should be avoided, and in the case of occurrence - to be eliminated as soon as possible. On the other hand, the conflict situation will allow you to look from the side of the occurrence, allows you to hear the opposite point of vision. In order for the conflict to not threaten the gap of certain relations, one must be able to obey and hear your opponent, perhaps he is really right.

The reasons for conflicts

Understanding the causes of the conflict can not only help effective behavior in it, but also avoid complications of the situation. Psychologists identify several reasons contributing to the occurrence of a conflict.

1. The lack of information about the object under discussion, or it is not quality.
2. The subjective perception of the situation is the discrepancy between real events and a personal attitude to them.
3. Difficulties in communication-the same words can be perceived and interpreted by various people differently.
4. The mismatch of the expected and real behavior of the opponent.
5. Differences in values \u200b\u200b- differences in interests, behavior and goals.
6. The location on various steps of a social or official ladder.
7. Lack of financial capabilities.
8. Incompatibility of claims of the parties and the inability to satisfy them.

How to avoid conflicts

Often the participants in the conflict are justified that it was not they who started it, that it was she to blame for everything, or he did not listen to anything, began to scream, etc. Thus, they try to protect themselves and do not assume that they could completely avoid conflict. If you are not a “instigator” of the conflict, show your adult side - do not continue it.

How to avoid conflicts at work

Most of our lives take place at work, there is communication with employees, and promotion, and much more. Therefore, conflicts at the workplace can arise in several planes - these are conflicts with superiors and conflicts with work colleagues.

To avoid conflicts with the authorities, you should adhere to several rules:

1. Do not forget that the boss is “always right”, and if he is still wrong, you should not react too emotionally to this. The head makes you requirements as an employee, and you must meet these requirements, of course, if you want to continue to work there.
2. If the boss yelled at you with all because of his bad mood, restrain yourself. And if you do not understand what the reason (if on your part all the duties are performed correctly), go to it and in a calm atmosphere, without raising your voice, find out what your mistake is.
3. Do not play before the authorities. Relations should be strictly professional, otherwise it can lead not only to a conflict with the boss, but also with employees.
4. Recognize the right to error. Both you and your boss are people, and people tend to make mistakes. Do not escape the atmosphere with unnecessary fears.
5. Do not discuss the behavior of the boss with employees, even in an informal setting. You never know where and in what perspective the words you say can come up.

As for conflicts in the team, everything is a little more complicated here, since in addition to the professional component, personal relationships also come in. The larger the team, the more opinions, and not only professional. Therefore, the tactics of behavior should be well thought out.

1. Smile more often, try to find good things in everything. This not only protects from a certain number of conflicts, but also helps in life.
2. If an employee does not agree with your professional point of view with great experience in this matter, ask him in calm tones to explain his cause of disagreement. Having found out the reason, it will be easier for you to navigate the situation or recognize the lack of your experience, or resolve the issue with personal hostility.
3. If the conflict arose on the basis of personal hostility, try to conduct a conversation in calm tones and do not find out the relationship with everyone in your eyes, do it alone.
4. If a tense atmosphere reigns in the team and they try to hook you with something in order to bring you to emotions-do not give in, aggression is not the best adviser.
5. Do not take the drawing side, you never know how the situation can change in a few days, and maybe in a couple of hours.
6. Try to maintain working relations with employees - this is important for effective work.

How to avoid conflicts with friends

We all know very well that there are no friends and if you are lucky, and they surround you, then you probably value them for something, and, therefore, value them. Therefore, in order to avoid unnecessary quarrels, some of the tips of psychologists should be taken into account.

1. You should not respond too violently to minor comments to you. Before answering, count up to 10, and on the exhale, think about whether to answer.
2. If your friend really wants to quarrel, and you are catching this desire from each of his phrases, try to get away from the conflict. To recall important matters, an urgent call, an unresolved problem, sometimes it is simply vital to maintain friendship.
3. If it was not possible to avoid, and the conflict has already begun - try to agree with the opinion of your friend. Seeing that they agree with him, and no one is trying to convince him, he will simply not be interested to continue to conflict.
4. One of the important assistants in conflict situations is the ability to calmly talk. Sit with a friend and calmly discuss the problem that has arisen, look at it from different sides and choose a solution that will arrange both of you.
5. Before taking part in a particular conflict, think about what is more expensive for you - friendship or the opportunity to prove your case.

How to avoid conflicts in family relationships

Family is the most important thing that is in our lives. She surrounds us from the moment of our birth and accompanies all my life. Unfortunately, neither life under one roof, nor distance - they are able to help avoid conflicts. It is unlikely that it will be possible to exclude conflicts from the whole family life, but to reduce their number, if desired, is possible.

How to avoid conflicts with parents

1. If you feel that you are provoked, wound or removed from balance - exhale and calm down. Having cleared your mind from boiling emotions, you will be much better to understand the difficulties of this situation.
2. If complaints are expressed to you, listen to them without interrupting the speaker. Control not only your emotions, but also the words that you say. Any to the place (or unsuccessfully) the word said can not be used in your favor.
3. Having sensibly assessed the situation, find out where you are wrong, and where your parents are wrong. Do not be afraid to admit your mistakes.
4. Do not raise your voice, let your parents understand that your relationship with them is important to you.
5. Do not be a grudge, do not leave lack of failure, they have the ability to destroy relationships from the inside. Be frank and honest both with yourself and with your parents.
6. Consider the mood and state of health not only of your own, but also your parents, we are all people and everyone has changes in mood. Do not be selfish.

How to avoid conflicts with children

1. Every time your child, as you think, begs for conflict - think for what he is doing. Very often the cause of the conflict is a banal lack of attention from the parents.
2. It is very important for children to feel how they are treated. If he asks to buy something: switch his attention or explain as in more detail as possible, why you cannot do this. Otherwise, the child will feel an indifferent attitude towards him, which will certainly lead to another conflict.
3. Talk as often as possible with your children, this will help you find out about their desires, fears, mood. And it will help to avoid tantrums with a lot of negative emotions.
4. Avoid harsh criticism of children. Surely you are also unpleasant when they tell you that you are bad. If your child is wrong in something, having made him a remark, explain how to become better.

How to avoid conflicts with a second half

1. Treat respectfully to the second half, his interests, tastes, preferences, etc.
2. You fell in love with him as he is, do not strive to remake him.
3. Do not forget that there are two of you in the relationship, do not present those requirements that you cannot fulfill.
4. Sincerity is one of the most important keys to successful relations.
5. Before you are offended, think about what actually says to you, maybe this is only fatigue from a working day, or maybe this is hunger.
6. With the help of a gingerbread, you can get much more than with a whip. More often praise and occasionally remind you of what needs to be done.
7. Both you and your second half are people, and people, as you know, are characterized by mood swings. Forgive this to him and yourself. Do not expect instant satisfaction of your desires, especially if it is not in the spirit.
8. They noticed that the beloved is trying to start the conflict, make it jokingly, it doesn’t work-switch his attention to something pleasant. Kiss or say something affectionate.

  How to avoid conflicts. Video