How to increase self -esteem

A successful career, a happy family, a favorite hobby - all this is so attractive. Many dream about it, but all this achieve. And all because they doubt their abilities. We believed our parents who scolding us for mistakes, perhaps they said that we would never succeed. And after many years we continue to believe their words, and do not dare to change something in our own life. But in order to achieve the desired, it is only necessary to take a step. And first you need to work on your own self -esteem.

What is self -esteem

Self -esteem is one of the important components of the personality. This is how we relate to ourselves, how we evaluate our strength and how we believe in ourselves. Self -esteem is formed in us from early childhood and changes under the influence of people around us. Each event of our life does not go unnoticed by our self -esteem. You have succeeded and proud of yourself-this allows your self-esteem to grow up a little. But at the same time, if your success was not seen by anyone, or for your environment this is not such a success - at best, it will not move anywhere. A person’s self -esteem is formed in several ways: the first is when a person compares the level of his claims with the results of his activity, and the second - when a person compares himself with others.

Components of self -esteem

1. The way you feel about yourself. As far as you know your virtues, appreciate your achievements and respect yourself. This component forms a positive attitude towards yourself in you, allows you to love yourself.
2. How much you believe in yourself and your strength. Respect for yourself is an inner rod, it allows you to overcome obstacles, not lose hope and rise after every fall.
3. The ability to protect their interests. Confidence in your choice, the ability to protect what is expensive for you. This will remain invulnerable to external circumstances, independent and free.

Types of self -esteem

The more we know in this world, the more varieties we acquire. We already evaluate ourselves not only from the words of people who surround us, but also ourselves. In this regard, they distinguish between personal self -esteem, self -esteem of abilities, adequate and inadequate self -esteem, underestimated or high. Let's figure it out in more detail.

1. Self -esteem of abilities is how we evaluate our own skills, for which we can be proud of. For example, "I draw well" or "I am a skilled driver."
2. Personal self -esteem is how, in general, we evaluate our own character. “I have a complex character” or “I have no leadership qualities, I am a good subordinate.”
3. Private or specifically situational self -esteem. The ability to evaluate oneself in a particular situation. For example, “I swim quickly” or “I am a successful businessman”. Positive specific situational self -esteem is not always a general positive self -esteem of a person. An adult realizes that being a successful businessman, he could absolutely not take place as a family man.
4. The adequacy of self -esteem is the totality of how many people are confident in their abilities and how his strength is evaluated by the people around him. If you set yourself the task, those around you are sure that you can handle it, and you have confidently achieved the desired result, then we can talk about the adequacy of your self -esteem. If others are confident in your strength, and it seems to you that this task is not on your shoulder and in fact it turns out that you managed to solve it - in such cases they say that a person has inadequately low self -esteem.
5. High or low self -esteem - this applies to the attitude towards oneself as a whole, to the totality of their features and behavior. Therefore, high self -esteem is self -confidence and their abilities, focus on achieving a result. Low self -esteem - does not bear anything good in itself, these are doubts, uncertainty in his abilities and tomorrow. Such people are conservative, afraid of change and are poorly adapted in new circumstances.

Self -esteem problems

1. Undetered self -esteem. Doubts and uncertainty in their own abilities often lead to the fact that a person abandons his dream does not allow himself to achieve success.
2. High self -esteem. It is accompanied by pride and arrogance, such people look down at others, openly demonstrate their omniscience. Such character traits, as a rule, lead to loneliness and collapse of social relations.
3. Self -doubt. Such a problem, as a rule, leads to the fact that a person becomes a loser. He is not able to update his talents, reveal his capabilities, and, therefore, is not able to achieve the desired goals.
4. Vulnerability. A person who is not able to protect what is dear to him, his interests, is very at risk of losing all this.

Formation of self -esteem

Self -esteem begins to form from early childhood and continues to change throughout life. It is affected by various factors and mood swings. To harmonize your own personality, it is important to be able to adequately respond to what is happening and not fall into extremes. Do not exaggerate and call yourself a loser, if you didn’t succeed, get together and repeat the attempt-and you will definitely succeed.

Self -esteem of the child

The foundation of the child’s self -esteem is laid back in the womb. Thanks to a close relationship with her, he feels not only her mood, but also the attitude towards him, how desired he is. After birth, a little lump is not yet able to analyze, he is from how much attention is paid to him and how carefully satisfy his needs, he begins to realize the good or bad. When the child is growing up, praise is very important for him, approval from significant persons forms self -confidence. It should not be compared with other children, it is insulting and, as a rule, leads to a negative result. The behavior of the child is best compared with what he has done earlier, for example: today you did it better than yesterday. If the child has made a mistake or guilty, explain what exactly he is not right, indicate the right option. Do not go personal, criticize the actions: if the child is noisy, do not call him a “scream”, but ask him to speak quieter. In order for the child to react to criticism in his address, start with praise. Do not forget that you are forming a child’s rod. Despite the fact that the assessment is changing throughout life, the most important part is laid by parents.

Self -esteem of a teenager

Entering adolescence, the child begins to treat himself and surrounding people differently. During this period of his life, he shows interest in his personality, begins to think about his qualities, he no longer listens to the opinions of the surrounding people about him, but also begins to compare himself with others. At this age, the opinion of peers, not parents comes to the fore. Self -esteem is influenced not only by academic performance, but also by success among peers. Therefore, at this age, the circle of people with whom he communicates is very important. In an unfavorable company, successes at school are not valued, and, having made a choice in favor of friends, the child can slide significantly in marks.

Self -esteem of a woman

A positive attitude towards oneself, self -confidence, knowledge of one’s virtues, in a word - proper self -esteem is very important in the life of every person. In turn, low self -esteem is especially adversely affecting women. Therefore, it is necessary to pay special attention to raising girls. The more confident a woman, the greater success she is able to achieve. It is not necessary to sit at home for a long time and dissolve in family life. The modern rhythm of life allows you to achieve heights, make successes in a career, succeed in personal life, but for this one must be confident in your own abilities. Undetered self -esteem negatively affects not only the perception of itself, but also significantly interferes with success. Sometimes the invented earthly complexion, excess weight or tail after 18 interferes with buying bright clothes, putting on heels and feel at a height. But prolonged dissatisfaction with oneself, doubts about their abilities can lead to serious psychological problems. So do not delay, but you should take actions to increase self -esteem.

Ways to increase self -esteem

Since self -esteem is formed and changing throughout life, it is necessary to help her and maintain it at the desired level. People are “kind” and sometimes want to say something flattering address to you, and this may not depend on, you did well or were mistaken in something. And one of the best ways to increase and maintain self -esteem at the right level is self -hypnosis. Here are a few simple, but effective exercises.

1. Mirror. Each time, running past the mirror, stop and look at yourself. Get to know yourself, find the features that you like in yourself. Start making compliments for yourself, admit your love, smile yourself. Do this as often as possible and after a while you will notice striking changes.
2. Success diary. Write down all your victories perfect in a day in a notebook, even the smallest. Have you prepared a delicious dinner today? - Write down this little victory for yourself. And when you suddenly begin to doubt yourself, re -read it - this will help to feel self -confidence. The winners are not born, they become.
3. A positive image of oneself. Imagine as distinctly as possible, what you want to be: what is your character, what you do and how you dress. And at least once a day, scroll through this image in your head, you will not notice how it will be embodied in real life. To do this, you only need to afford to become the way you dream.
4. Self -promotion. Make a habit of writing short laudatory texts about yourself at least once a week. Tell us about all your virtues, then what you dream about how you plan to achieve your goals.

How to increase self -esteem. Video