How to survive the divorce

Every day, throughout our life, we occur some changes. Some of them are insignificant, so we do not even notice them. Others are joyful, so we try to bring them closer and, if possible, keep. Sometimes we have to endure something and take both due, and sometimes - lose, and, irretrievably. Party with close and native people are always problematic, but it is especially difficult to survive the divorce if you love. But it is necessary to survive this difficult stage - do not hesitate to seek help from friends, relatives or specialists, because it is not for nothing that the divorce ranks second in the ranking of the strongest stress.

How to survive a divorce painlessly: parting

Recently, everything was fine: the first "love!" And the proposal of the hand and heart, a white dress and a march of Mendelssohn, a fierce attempts to jointly, confidence in tomorrow and the full feeling of happiness ...

As a fragile, the human world - yesterday you soul did not care in each other, and today are other people or even irreconcilable enemies. Balancing on the verge in such a situation is very hard, so many couples make a decision to disperse in order not to spoil each other life. If such a desire is mutual, then separation will not bring a lot of mental flour.

It is much more difficult to restore sincere equilibrium if the decision of the second half is unexpected - as the thunder among the clear sky, after, it would seem, happy months or years of marriage. It is not easy and to those who have the second half leaves the family "on love", as it is more difficult to survive treason and divorce: the feeling that the partner preferred to someone else, very painful.

The reasons for the separation of spouses are the most diverse, if you clearly make aware of what happened, you will not lose yourself and much faster to restore.

How to survive a divorce: in search of the cause or justification?

Analyze your life: Is it necessary to fight with all the forces for what you had, or perhaps the divorce is the best thing happened to you lately?

As you know, in each family your "skeletons in the closet" and each family "unhappy in their own way." Nevertheless, after analyzing soberly their situation, you can place all the points over і. Specialists of the Statistical Department note that today the following reasons for divorce are most often found.

Incompatibility of characters as a reason for divorce

Very often in the first days of love, we do not see actually what is our object of passion. We are just passionate and not notice those "nuances" of the behavior and character with whom we will need to live in the future. And why the sin is to have - ourselves in the "candy-bought" period try to present themselves only with the winning side. And often, having won, we or our partner, we can play our "role" year, two and then five.

As a result, after the wedding and joint life, it is found that we have no points of contact - we are completely different: thoughts, plans, leisure, biological rhythms - everything does not coincide with us.

The image that was in our mind, collapses:

1. It turns out that the spouse or spouse has a lot of harmful, bizarre or stupid habits.
2. It turns out that the partner cannot compromise and refuses to negotiate.
3. It turns out that the spouses can no longer pretend that they have common interests.
4. It turns out that her husband and wife will not have so much in society and attention to each other.

Passion passes, love and tenderness comes to shift, in turn, these feelings are replaced by friendship, respect and, alas, habit. If during this period, and it is difficult for each family, a man and a woman not to learn to appreciate each other, reckon with a partner and feel responsible, then, of course, the question arises - "And what keeps us together?"

If the pair cannot find the opportunity to live together, it is best, it's best to divorce. Why torment yourself, their partner and children (perhaps future).

Dependence as a reason for divorce

Alcoholism, drug addiction, ludomania (game) and the likelihood of a person from some external stimuli, of course, a very tragic situation for the family.

To live with a person who for the next "doping" is ready to endure the last of the house - difficult and scary. But it is not easy to quit and divorce too, as a partner is really sick and he needs help.

If one of the spouses decide to divorce with a dependent person, it needs courage and determination. Most often it is not possible to handle alone - if necessary, you need to ask for help from a stronger person. But the divorce in this case is the right decision, however, many people are scared by the opinion of people, which, they say, all threw "in a difficult moment." You should not be afraid of condemnation and disapproval - you have one or alone, and you have one life, you should not spend her back.

Domestic violence as a reason for divorce

It used to be believed that "if it hits means, he likes," today psychologists say completely different. A man who hits a woman is an unbalanced despot, tyrant, which thus self-affected. He hits a woman, then children. And women hide bruises, sink at night, and then they forgive, but continue to live with Samodor.

At the same time, some of the beautiful floor representatives in every way justify their husbands until scary - a woman or a child or a child.

Divorce is the most ideal option in such a situation, but not many women understand it, as they do not know what life is without fear of beatings.

Treason as a reason for divorce

Treason, after which one of the spouses "makes a handle" and, together with a suitcase, leaves the frightened nest - this is one thing. Here you want, you don't want, but the choice is not great - you will not be forcibly mil.

But there is an arc case: one-time treason, after which the spouses try to preserve the relationship. Forgiveness or divorce - everyone should decide here. This is the most difficult choice that the spouses face, so the solution of this problem lies in the plane of the relationship between her husband and wife: how warm and trustful they are, why did the treason arose, which caused a joint future?

This is a very difficult decision - it is not necessary to take it hastily, you need to thoroughly think about it, weigh, calculate, and only after that choose the right one, in your opinion, the answer.

Children as a reason for divorce

Marriages disintegrate even because of children: whether due to their presence, or because of their absence.

1. The inability to have children. The desire to have a child sooner or later visits all families. If someone from the spouses is imperfect, it may well be the cause of the divorce. But many couples with dignity came out from this position, for example, they lived for each other, adopted children from orphanages, they were engaged in charity, contained shelters for homeless animals. But many and divorced - in principle, this is a very good justification, if you do not take a moral side.
2. Unwillingness to have children from one of the spouses. A little different picture is a man and a woman, both healthy and are ready to continue the kind, but one of the partners are categorically against it. For example, women are afraid of losing an attractive appearance and a slim figure, and men love themselves and do not want to share their wife's attention to anyone. Sometimes psychologists can solve this problem - if the problem is really psychological, and its "legs" grow from childhood. But sometimes to convince the partner that "children are flowers of life," unrealistic, and, therefore, the children do not see the spouses. Did the divorce justive in these cases? Experts argue that selfish behavior may well serve as an excuse.
3. Birth of a child. Whatever it is trite, but the coming to our world of a new person may well be the cause of the divorce. Very often, young fathers simply do not cope with the fact that someone else appears in the tandem. From now on, all the attention of his wife takes this little screaming bundle. Father's feelings are not a matter of maternal instinct, so it is often at the moment that a woman needs male care, it remains alone. The man, as statistics shows, may leave the family "for a while" - he continues to take care of his wife and child, but not to scandal, lives separately (whether he has his parents, whether his wife has his own parents), but as a baby It will grow up, the family is combined. Sometimes a man is leaving the commencement, forgetting that he has a child and a wife, whom he is very hard in the postpartum period. Basically, such families are not reunited and divorce, alas, is inevitable - this is a matter of time.

How to survive a divorce with my husband

The representatives of the beautiful sex are much more complicated by change and mental torments, so it is much harder to be at parting, as it is difficult to survive the divorce of a woman for a psycho-emotional state.

Women needed a person to whom they will be able to tell everything that has accumulated on the soul, heavers cry and get, of course, support. It may be mom, sister, girlfriend.

What can you advise women in such cases?

1. Sincere conversation for tea or wine (each one).
2. Not to stay at night one - the nightly night is suitable for a friend or in the company of girlfriends.
3. Do not stay alone with your thoughts - work, children, hobbies should not suffer because you are divorced.
4. If the first days you want to cry - cry! If the soul hurts - let the will of tears, do not keep everything in yourself.
5. Do not suffer too long - the prolonged depression is treated very difficult.
6. If you have no one to talk to (yes, and it happens), look for a forum on the Internet, where you will be helped to speak, comfort and help with advice and warm words.

How to survive a divorce with my wife

Men are experiencing divorce not as women are on that they are also a strong floor. A man sobbing in a vest after the divorce is difficult to meet - it's much easier to see him drunk in the company of friends. Many men, after their wife leave them, are trying to leave with their heads in work, computer games, hobbies, boys, goules.

Often, men are embarrassed to talk in souls even with very close friends or parents, but believe me, there is nothing galloping in it - if you have a strong one, the strong floor must be spoken by male. True, this requires special conditions - for example, go with your father on fishing or with a friend of hunting.

How to survive the divorce

Of course, children suffer most of all, because they are experiencing the divorce of parents much sharper and painful. It is the parents who are able to do everything possible that the divorce of the parents will at least affect the children.

1. Help the child survive the divorce is your holy duty, as children are just hostage of ambitions and parents.
2. No matter how much the child is five or fifteen years old, you have to talk to your chance, explain what is happening.
3. In no case can no hate to the spouse or spouse to transfer to the child.
4. Never speak bad about my mother or dad - for the child, his parents are the best in the world.
5. Never insult with a child each other - respect yourself, and your child.
6. Explain that in spite of everything, even the parents will live separately, will lead new families, other children, they will still love their common child.
7. Just convince the child that the second parent will be able to meet him at any time as soon as he needs.

How to survive a divorce: the first days of loneliness

Divorce is sad, but to restore faster, you need to decide why you feel bad and what will oppress you. The most important thing is that we do wrong - we think about whether we are bad, "not aware of, in fact, the size of this very" how ", and most importantly, we are not aware of that" why "we feel bad. From this, of course, we "sick." It will help to figure out and put everything on the circles your rather simple training - you need to write the reasons on a sheet of paper why you are bad. Just keep in mind that everyone you should write honestly.

How to survive divorce: what to take yourself

The main reasons for depression after the divorce:

1. Love for the spouse (spouse).
2. Fear and fear of loneliness.
3. Feeling owner.
4. Habit - There is a man (woman).
5. Fear of change.
6. Pity in relation to yourself.
7. Pity in relation to children.
8. Treason partner.
9. Failure to perceive new life, etc.

Carefully analyze your own list that you have turned out. Think which of the items is the most painful for you. Think what you need to do in order to eliminate the items you wrote. Think over exactly how you will get rid of this list - it will undoubtedly raise you mood.

For example, you are afraid of loneliness, but you wanted a dog so long ago, and your second half was against - that's how you get rid of loneliness and exercise a long-time dream. Or, for example, you are used to that the partner is always next to you, but you have so long wanted to go abroad with girlfriends, and the spouse did not let you go - what is not going to fly to Paris or London?

How to survive a divorce: what to answer relatives and familiar

Limit the range of close people who will know the true cause of the divorce.

1. All the rest can be answered something to the pain banal: "No love", "Tired of pretending", "We have become strangers", "they decided that apart from us would get better", etc.
2. Refuse disresponsible reviews about the second half (even if it is the initiator of the divorce).
3. Try not to show in public what you feel. Your pain will finally go through a month or two, and people will remember you a weak person.
4. Not worth everything (who wants and who does not want this) tell the details of the divorce (see paragraph above).

How to survive a divorce: how to hire pain

There is a mental pain - this is why there are no medicines. It must be drawn, render and survive.

1. It is not necessary to get involved in antidepressants - experts claim that if you live the first few days without medication, then you will quickly handle stress than when you take sedatives. Otherwise, the cure can delay.
2. People with weak nerves at night are still better to take sleeping pills, but see do not overdo it - an overdose can bring a fatal outcome. Self-mediation is fraught with negative consequences - consult a doctor who will advise you the drug and choose a dosage for you.
3. Drink herbal teas, for example, with mint, lime or melissa.
4. Alcoholic beverages do not bring calm, they only temporarily muffle pain, but after breaking the pain will be rolling with a new force. As you know, the frequent use of alcohol leads to acking and alcoholism.

How to survive a divorce: the first weeks of independence

Perhaps the word divorce you do not scare as before. You began to build a new life and try my best to make her happy and dignified. Begin by coming to terms with the loss finally mate. Love yourself and pay attention.

How to survive a divorce: how to reconcile

1. This is the most difficult - to accept the fact that now the family is no more. If you throw the moral dimension of this fact - before this we have already written, it is necessary to solve, and two equally important issues: the financial and housing. If you have a house and a steady income, then you are much simpler than those who are forced to remain without shelter and livelihood. Experts say that you should not be humiliated and ask for money from his former half. Limit any possibility of communication - so you will accept the fact that from now on you are strangers. The exception is the presence of children - to discuss the issue of maintenance is necessary as soon as possible.
2. Make of your second half resembled nothing - it will cause nostalgia that lead to depression. Clean away pictures, gifts and all those things that are reminiscent of a partner. Keep cool - do not take photos and weep over it for hours. Yes, you were happy, but it's all in the past - it is necessary to live. A belief in the future, you'll be even happier!
3. If you did not have children together, your loneliness will be perceived by the physical layer. Get yourself a pet, which must be taken care of.
4. Relax and try to realize that divorce is already done and there is no turning back - learn to live independently: walk, meet friends, go to work, go to relatives, etc.
5. Pamper yourself! Buy some trifle, which you've always wanted or a new dress. Go to a restaurant or to the cinema (only on a very funny comedy or a horror film). Visit the casino or racetrack. Make home a pizza or sushi. Take a bath with rose petals and listen to relaxing music. Arrange the hen or stag party and invite strippers, after all - you are now completely free and should not be accountable to anyone.

How to survive a divorce: Learning to live a new life

1. No one is not dependent on its appearance as women. Experts strongly recommend the wonderful sex not to forget that after divorce, life just begins! Change the hairstyle and the color of the hair, lose weight or vice versa - to be corrected. Change makeup and clothing style. By the way, these tips are perfectly suitable for men! Make a new haircut, grow beard or sharing a mustache (or vice versa). And instead of a business suit buy sports.
2. Agree to the meeting, visiting the trainings or the seminar, which you have heard for a long time, but there was no time to go. Going with friends to meetings that you have previously ignored because of the presence of the second half, etc. It is normal, as you can survive the divorce you can have fun and completely trouble-free.
3. As soon as you have to think more restrained and reasonably, emotions will be silent, and the pain is stuck, you must try to forgive my husband or wife. Do it sincerely, take it in the shower and release your second half. Only after that you will start a new and full life - as soon as you release your past.
4. Communicate with the opposite floor - you can start online if you are afraid in real life! Flirt and flirt, chat on different topics, Assign a date and ... Fall love!
5. Is there life after a divorce? Undoubtedly! Survive this period is difficult, but quite possible! Not only - very many become happy in repeated marriages! Just do not deny yourself the pleasure - to live, do not close yourself in the four walls and do not limit your life!

How to survive a divorce: Psychologist Tips

If it is very difficult for you after parting, it is better to contact a specialist - an experienced psychologist will help, as it is very problematic to survive the divorce without mental torments for many. Most often, experts advise:

1. Set real targets.
2. Do not save the negative.
3. Do not close inside yourself.
4. Do nice pastime.
5. Do not goss up.
6. Do not revenge.
7. Not to rush "in the pool with head" to other relationships.
8. Forgive.
9. Switch to something new, previously not affordable.
10. Do not "nibble" yourself from the inside.
11. Forget about your past.
12. Do not criticize yourself yourself and not give to criticize yourself to outsiders.
13. Do not put a cross on yourself and your life.
14. Do not adjust children against the father or against the mother.

Video: how to survive divorce

Good and most importantly, the effective tips How to survive the divorce gives Dr. Kurparats.