How to change your character

Ideal personalities simply do not exist, which distinguishes all people from each other. Others can reconcile with some features, but is it possible to change the nature that causes inconvenience and interferes with communication?

Excessive isolation and shyness interferes with new acquaintances and useful connections, aggressiveness and insincerity repulses people, and sensitivity and emotionality irritate. The character should be changed for greater self -confidence, which will help negotiate with people, prove your point of view and even be able to refuse, causing respect from others. If some of your disadvantages poison the life of loved ones, then you should think about how to change your character.

The whole life and fate of any person depends on personal qualities and even people with the same opportunities can achieve absolutely opposite results. The ability to correctly build relationships in society affects family life and career, and also directly affects the quality of life and the possibility of rapidly response and adaptation to sudden changes. If general dissatisfaction with personal qualities increases, then a person feels mental disharmony, uncertainty, and sometimes bodily ailments.

The concept of character in psychology

The nature is, in fact, the totality of the constantly manifested psychological qualities of an individual personality, which allow you to determine its interaction with other people and the external world, workability, activity of life positions, attitude to material and spiritual, as well as to itself. Such features indicate in the aggregate human lifestyle and represent it as a unique representative. According to general social psychology, it is possible to change your character at any age with a sufficient desire to change the lifestyle in general.

Before proceeding with radical changes in the personality, it is necessary to carry out the introspection of actions that require adjustment. Relatives and close people who honestly indicate shortcomings will also help change the character traits. It is useful to fix all the disadvantages and pluses in a kind of list, which will help determine the temperament of a person.

Types of character

From the first birthday, the personal qualities of the child are formed only by 10% of the genetic predisposition, the remaining 90% are determined under the influence of education, surrounding conditions and health of family relations. It is easier to change the nature of the child until his main “skeleton” has been completely formed completely, but the congenital 10% of the temperament will be unchanged. Each such type of nervous system has its own pronounced pros and cons that can be controlled, but not completely changed.

Choleric

An energetic, bright and emotional person with a sharply changing mood. If everything develops positively for the choleric, then he will be cheerful, responsive and witty. If something is wrong, then such people tend to express longing, sadness and irritation, they often begin to bustle for no reason, panic and show aggression.

Sanguine

Cheerful, balanced, easily switching and open person. It would seem that the best character traits are collected in this temperament, since the sanguine is going through life in a positively -minded rhythm, not irritable and always open to new events and people. However, such a cheerful mood is sometimes not appropriate and can appear to others as too selfish.

Melancholic

Thoughtful, possibly closed, sensitive and easily excitable nature. Such people are usually creative natures, since they strongly experience all emotional bursts, but do not show them like choleraiks, but keep experiences in themselves. Outwardly, quite calm and indifferent to all individuals, melancholys often suffer from loneliness, as they do not like to share problems with others and engage in excessive introspection, which is often manifested in creativity (poetry, music, artistic abilities, etc.).

Phlegmatic person

Such people tend to be always methodical, calm, leisurely, reinforced, efficient and emotionally balanced. Such personalities often do not have an instant reaction to unplanned events, it is very difficult for them to switch attention from one work to another. Sometimes others perceive such slowness as a manifestation of laziness, since phlegmatic people do not show emotions and cannot make urgent decisions.

How to change the character of a person?

Wish

In order to radically change something in yourself, it is necessary to earn it hard with the help of work on yourself. That is, if you want to change the character of your boyfriend of your own free will, and at the same time he considers himself ideal, then do not expect a significant result. A person can help change, but initially he must want this himself and strive for improvements, and also not to give up and not be afraid of the failures that everyone may have.

Studying

If the goal is “I want to change my character” is unshakable, then you should move on to the stage of study itself, the accumulation of necessary knowledge and correct thoughts. After you rightly determined your type of temperament, you should begin to change with the analysis and observation of your behaviors in a particular situation. Be sincere with yourself and record all your shortcomings that you and your loved ones yourself notice, but remember that only those who do nothing can have the lack of mistakes.

For more effective introspection, connect your relatives to the process who often observe you from the outside. Ask for help in adjusting your character so that they point you to those features that bother them and possible shortcomings that you unnoticed on your own. A constant reminder of others about improper behavior will also be useful, which will carefully monitor emotions and better control them.

Complexes

Is it possible to change the nature of a person in the presence of not so much shortcomings, but complexes, because often increased shyness, isolation, alienation from society or aggression is due not so much by personality character traits, but by his notorious and fears. These can be external characteristics (for example, excess weight or low growth) and psychological fears after the disappointment of life experience. Such features also need to be identified and dealt with them, increasing self -confidence and not focusing on problems in which you can find positive aspects.

Grade

After determining negative qualities, it is necessary to subject them to an adequate, sincere assessment and understand which of them you can and want to change, and with which you need to work to increase self -esteem. Is it possible to change your character without respecting yourself as a person? The answer is obvious that it implies a competent assessment and adoption of its characteristics that cannot be adjusted and work on such disadvantages that will really help change the lifestyle.

Ideal

For effective work on yourself, you must clearly define the goals that you need to achieve. Create yourself your ideal image that will act in all situations as it should and equal it. You can also analyze and change your character according to the books of psychology aimed at self -knowledge and improvement of personality, but it is worth remembering that absolutely perfect people do not exist and, therefore, you can only do what you can do.

Do not imitate

It should be understood that even a person who has managed to change his character is not an idol for you, since it is impossible to be a copy of another person. Any even the most successful people can be doomed to failure or have their cons and, adjusting to someone else, you will only waste your time and effort. It is necessary to achieve the best goals independently working on yourself, but, not just copying someone's behavior.

Favorite business

Do what you like, useful and interesting, it will get rid of irritability and change your lifestyle, which will significantly affect the character. Refuse unnecessary little things and bad habits, make your life more useful, more interesting and of better, be hardworking and do everything from the heart, this will allow you to easily adjust behavioral shortcomings. If the nature is harmful to the complexes that you can change, then do not postpone the changes in life in a long box, but take care of yourself today to achieve balance and moderation without extreme measures.

Discipline

The character is automatically manifested in psychological reactions to irritants, so try to control yourself and be lean to useless energy expenditures, restrained or decisive depending on situations. For self -control, take notes into your personal diary and analyze behavior and errors. The correct regime of the day, sleep, a healthy lifestyle and nutrition will help discipline themselves and control emotions, and a positive approach will be rewarded with satisfaction from the effect.

Development

Self -development is a complex stage of character changes, since many are scared to decide on changes or just laziness. However, without effort it is impossible to change for the better and you should not only want to, but also do something diligently to adjust behavior. Take care of yourself and force to work on flaws daily until the correct response reaches automatism.

Habits

If you set out the goal of changing character traits, then you should take into account the presence of bad habits, unrestrained extremes and an incorrect lifestyle. These factors should also fight and eradicate them from their everyday life, since they directly affect the quality of life and health, which spoils the character. It is easier to control your life and fate if you discipline and behave correctly, struggling with laziness and adhering to moderation, and daily work on yourself will at least gradually make virtues positive habits.

Praise

Support yourself and be sure that you will succeed in your plan, be modest and fair to yourself in moderation. Analyze your successful actions and treat it calmly and tolerant of failures, do not despair because of the inevitable trifles and do not lose faith in yourself. To change the nature, it will take time, so you are tolerant of adjusting the shortcomings and continue working on yourself regularly.

Mood

Take a self -hypnosis and believe that everything is possible with the necessary efforts of will and steady determination. Every day, repeat your approving parting words, you can also write down your goals and hang in a prominent place in order to constantly remember them and maintain confidence in difficult situations. Concentrate on your own purposes, visualize them and mentally constantly imagine how you act in life situations correctly.

Video

A video day is also considered a new effective type for introspection today. For example, the American Sean Caroll (a man who managed to change his character) shot himself on a video recorder and after three months he achieved a change in his temper to restraint. The documentary "Human Reason" was shot based on materials provided by televisors from the Archives of Sean.

Initially, this person was distinguished by increased emotionality, fury and not restrained by anger, and after an experiment, he became restrained and thoughtful, capable of preliminary analysis of the situation. The American analyzed his videos with his wife, who supported him and helped not to forget to control. After three months of zealous work on himself, this person changed his character and behavior to the level that he wanted to achieve.

Psychotherapist Pavel Frolov will help to answer the main questions for those who want to change and control emotions: