Middle -age crisis in men. When a middle -aged crisis occurs in men

It is precisely women who begin to be interested in the concept of “middle -aged crisis”. Since it is they who are the first to notice changes in the behavior and emotional state of their man, do not find reasons for such a state. It would seem that everything goes as usual, life is established, everything is fine with work, what may be wrong. It turns out that in psychology there is a definition of this state - a middle -aged crisis in men after 40 years. Do not be scared of this moment in life or somehow prepare. Perhaps he will not overtake you at all. But, if you are interested in such an article, it means that one of your loved ones has such changes in condition and behavior. We will try to find answers to the most exciting questions, formulate the “symptoms” of a middle -aged crisis in a man, determine the methods of help and much more.

When men begins in middle -aged crisis

A middle -aged crisis is a specific stage in the life of a man, which is very difficult to give precisely in moral and psychological terms. Based on many surveys and observations, an approximate age of a man who experiences this crisis was determined. This happens in most cases at 40-45 years. That is why, the age of 40 years is often called-“forty-rok”. But do not forget that each person is individual, and a middle-aged crisis in men over 50 years old is not rare. There are 2 basic psychological theories regarding the time of this crisis:

• jung theory (35-60 years);
• levinson's theory (40-45 years).

It all depends on the internal state of a person and life experience. A man begins to overestimate his life, his achievements, “miss” in his youth and be afraid of the approach of old age. At whatever age, this truly turning point in psychological plan begins to remember that the woman is attached to a colossal role. It is she who, with her right and patient actions, is able to direct her husband on the right path and not allow the family to destroy.

Middle -aged crisis in men and how long it lasts

Changes in the mood and behavior of a man during the crisis are quite easy to notice not only to loved ones, but even to colleagues at work. How much can this condition last? When does a middle -aged crisis end? You cannot give an unambiguous answer to this question. Someone can only occur in the episodic manifestation of this turning point, and someone can last until the end of life with temporary attenuation.  A middle -aged crisis in men after 30 years is also a frequent phenomenon. Do not hope that some sharp jump will happen and everything will stop. We need a balanced and confident approach, proper communication, perhaps even a consultation with a psychologist.

Middle -age crisis in men. The reasons for the "forty-rok"

Why does this strange period happen and why does it begin? You can find a lot of answers. In modern psychology, there are a lot of options for the causes of the crisis. The most popular are:

• almost half of his life has been lived, and a man wants to summarize a peculiar result;
• a man is aware of his failure in some areas of life, from which depression “covers”;
• in the process of revaluation of life values, there is a lot of doubts about the correctness of their life path;
• the man was tired of constantly justifying expectations from relatives, wife, work colleagues. He begins to miss the ease and carelessness of his youth;
• changes in the body are becoming more and more obvious - gray hair, wrinkles, more and more repeated diseases, etc.;
• in the eyes of his wife, admiration for his “exploits” ceased to read, as it was in his youth;
• the man realizes what a huge segment of life has already passed, and he is asked by logical questions: “Where is my triumph?”, “Where is the climax point?” Not finding a positive answer, and doubts appear in everything;
• sexy life with his wife became the usual thing and lost its former passion. There is an acute desire to feel like an alpha male;
• the man unconsciously begins to compare his wife with the “young princess”, which she was at the beginning of their family life. If the difference is too large, then this pushes him into certain conclusions.

“Something happened to my husband”, or the symptoms of a middle-aged crisis in men

Each loving wife will always notice the slightest changes in the behavior and psychological state of a man. A middle -aged crisis can overtake every second man, regardless of his social status or level of material security. It has long been noticed that for a period of 40-45 years, the largest number of divorces account for. And most importantly, not “young” families break up, but couples who have lived for more than a dozen years together. If you notice the following “symptoms” in the behavior of your man, then attach and be patient:

1. Sudden interest in sports. A man suddenly begins to show interest in football, for example. Previously, he just watched matches on television, but now he is eager to enter the field himself. This can be explained by the fact that a man is trying to recall his old successes, to prove to himself and others that he is all the same as 20 years ago.
2. Cross traction. Almost everything begins to seem boring to a man: he is not satisfied with work, Sunday family trips to the park, car, etc. The fear of not having time to do something and try, because there are already so many years behind the shoulders.
3. Fear of stop being sexy for your second half. Many middle -aged men begin to complex about their body, a belly that has appeared. In fact, a woman suffers at the same experiences at a similar age. Sexologists advise introducing diversity into personal life.
4. Frequent experiences about work. Mid -aged men subconsciously begin to associate themselves with the "old people" at work, on the heels of which the young generation comes. Remember your most important dignity - experience that can always be increased in the study of new technologies, works, etc.
5. Looking "on the sides." One of the most unpleasant signs of a middle -aged crisis is betrayal or simply an interest in other women. A man can more often linger at work, new numbers may appear in his phone book, etc.
6. Excessive care of oneself. If a man suddenly wanted to dye his hair to get rid of gray hair, he began to take care of his face, although he did not do this before, began to choose new perfumes, accessories, then most likely a middle -aged crisis already overtook him.
7. Sudden sentimentality can be replaced by a flash of anger.
8. Previously, a sociable man suddenly became closed. Some try to drown out the problem within themselves, not to show their painful state to others, thereby making only worse.
9. The aggravation of bad habits. If earlier a man could drink a couple of glasses on holidays, then with the coming middle -aged crisis, everything can go for the worse.
10. Drowsiness. Lethargy, lack of appetite, drowsiness - all this can be signs of depression.
11. The resumption of old acquaintances. The man feels nostalgia in his youth, tries to restore friendly relations with classmates, classmates.
12. Constant discontent. The husband began to see the shortcomings and see the errors in absolutely everything: from incorrectly folded socks to the methods of raising children.

If you have noticed such manifestations in your character in character and change in behavior, then most likely the crisis is already in full swing. To help a person, you need to think through a certain “therapeutic” plan. Since any spontaneous actions, prohibitions, swearing, tears can only aggravate the situation and overwhelm it to the limit - until the pair breaks out.

What does a middle -aged male crisis look like for a woman

Male and female psychology is perfect. And therefore, a middle-aged crisis is also understood and experienced in different ways. If you ask a man in the midst of this state that he feels most often, then his answers can be like that:

• “I have the right to do as I see it necessary, because I provide my family.”
• "You do not give me freedom, I feel imprisoned."
• “I'm tired of everything. Leave me all alone. "
• "You raised the children incorrectly."
• "If I could return the past, then ...".
• “There is no desire to return home, they don’t understand me there.”

The woman is also in a very difficult situation. She has to fight the constant discontent of her husband, his excessive employment, demand attention, etc. If you ask a woman how a middle -aged crisis manifests itself in men, how she feels during a male crisis, then the answers can be as follows:

• “I'm tired of listening to the constant memories of his“ football ”youth.”
• “The husband’s bad mood was his usual mood.”
• "The husband stopped paying attention to me."
• “I am enraged by his constant delays at work. He is in no hurry to come home. "
• "We have a real earthquake at home."
• "Tired of fighting his stupid tricks."

It is worth saying that despite all those “horrors” through which a woman will go through during a male crisis, she needs to pull herself together and be patient if she intends to save her family.

Middle -age crisis in men. Categorical "impossible" for a woman in a male crisis

"Middle -aged crisis in men and what to do?" - This is the most common question in women who seek help from specialists. In order not to undermine the already fragile psychological balance of a man during a middle -aged crisis, a woman needs to clearly understand for herself what erroneous actions do not need to be performed:

1. No matter how much you want to help, do not impose your advice and recommendations.
2. Do not look for the reason for the behavior of the husband in yourself. You are not to blame for this, this is a logical stage in the life of every man.
3. In no case do not turn into a tearful tantrum. Tears will only annoy the man.
4. Do not wait for the manifestation of signs of attention, do not be offended by this. But be sure to demonstrate your love yourself.
5. Give a man a little freedom so that he can be able to be alone with his thoughts.
6. Do not be a “teacher”, stop saying that you know how to get out of this state better than him.
7. If you want to save your family, then do not rush sharp phrases about divorce. A man can easily make such a decision, and then you will regret it.
8. Remember that bright scenes of jealousy irritate any person, and if this person is also in a depressive state, then the consequences can be unpredictable.
9. Be patient, do not be hot -tempered.
10. Do not stop watching yourself, but on the contrary, go in for sports, remember the forgotten hobby, start learning English. A man must see a successful and purposeful woman near him.

Middle -aged crisis in men: how to help

Many women, asking for the search for methods for helping a man in a crisis, want to get a clear guide to action, certain techniques and cunning secrets about how to overcome a middle -aged crisis in men. But, in fact, no one knows your husband better than you. Your sensitivity, patience, love and desire to preserve the family are the main guidelines that will help a man successfully get out of a depressive state. You can give the most general recommendations on how to help a man:

1. Do not focus on and voice aloud the fact that he now has the same "middle -aged crisis." It is so hard for your husband, and he most likely understands the meaning of all the changes that are taking place.
2. Be as well as possible, do not arrange quarrels and tantrums. A man in such a depressed state can begin to perceive you as an annoying “fly”, which you constantly want to get rid of. And the climax can become, as you yourself have already understood, divorce ..
3. Become the most attentive and interested listener in the world. In any way, try to emphasize its significance for you, and if you do not listen to it elementary, then the effect will be the exact opposite - the man will go away even deeper into depression.
4. Make a hint of the opportunity to contact a specialist. But do it as thin as possible and veiled. Men are used to solving all problems on their own and sharing with someone their innermost thoughts and anxiety for some men is akin to a feat.
5. Turn into a stylish beauty. Become an object of admiration. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. What will you see there? A tired woman with a bunch of hair on her head? Start to correct yourself immediately. Sign up in the gym, resume your yoga classes, dye your hair, etc. The more successful you will seem for a man, the less doubts he will have about the correctness of his choice.
6. Become the main organizer of family leisure. Bring something new to your entertainment and rest. A trip to another country in which you dreamed of visiting youthful times is a great idea. Show your husband that life is not over and you have a lot of unfulfilled goals.
7. Become a passionate mistress. Diversity in sex is only welcome. A man should not look for “pleasure” on the side, his beloved wife should become an ideal. Do not be afraid to express your desire. Some men are waiting for this. Try to overcome the constraint if you have it, and openly speak on such topics.
8. Become a wise wife. Gather all your patience in a fist. Do not be offended by some of your husband’s actions. Most likely he makes them, in doubt, throwing, searching for himself. Support it in such a difficult period. Know how to forgive.
9. Become it with your right hand. If the husband still decided to radical changes and changed his work, then do not constantly reproach him for it. The phrases “I said that nothing good would come of it”, “I had to listen to me”, “nothing better than you could not find” should be forgotten and avoided at all. Throw your husband's ideas about new vacancies, discuss together the pros and cons of a new job, inspire him that he will succeed.

The consequences of a middle -aged crisis in men

No matter how difficult and long this turning point in the life of some men seemed, sooner or later he is destined to end or at least subside for a while. What changes can he leave for himself? Will everything remain as before? These issues are especially tormented by women who hope for a favorable outcome.   But no matter how fast and favorable this outcome is, tremendous changes will occur in the mental psyche. This turning point in life will make you look at your place in life in a new way, make you overestimate your values \u200b\u200band principles of life. Conditionally, the consequences of a middle -aged male crisis can be divided into 2 groups:

1. The first group of the consequences of the crisis is considered a relatively favorable outcome. A man after long torment and doubts about the correct choice of work, spouse, etc. He begins to look at everything from a more optimistic position. He understands that his wife was his most faithful companion for many years of life together, and that they are connected by inextricable bonds. The problems at work are also not so global. A man can set for himself a new global goal in life and thanks to her to successfully get out of the crisis.
2. The second group of the consequences of the male crisis has a much more deplorable finale. After his painful thoughts about the value of his life, the correctness of some important actions, the man decides on cool changes, which he will then be regretted, but it will be too late. Just after such consequences, families most often collapse. A frequent option may be a man’s desire to return to a once broken family. But it is not a fact that an offended and offended wife will be able to accept him back.

Remember, no matter what changes take place in a man’s life is a logical personality growth, a new step in his awareness of himself and the meaning of life. Love and take care of your loved ones! Be sensible to their problems!